As of late I've described myself as a disbeliever in love. Scratch that; disbelief isn't the right word. I just have trouble comprehending that two people could possibly love each other equally and, excluding some unavoidable trials, happily spend the majority of their lives together. Still, there are a few friends close to me who are surviving in what could be considered "loving unions." One member of the most successful of which I talked to the other day. This friend, Scott, has been married since his early days of college. He didn't speak in generalities but instead described what worked for him and his wife. First, Scott said that college was really busy so it wasn't like they were spending a ridiculous amount of time together. Second, he said that he and his wife had pretty unusual conversations. Honestly, to a degree, both points were new to me, especially the second one. I definitely can understand the necessity for a reasonable level of independence but unusual conversations never struck me as a point worth listing early -no wonder I'm single! Sure you can have a good conversation where both halves of the couple agree on something but I think what Scott meant was that he and his wife (Laura) exposed new ideas and perspectives to each other. This is very important to a relationship, without it even the most tranquil ones will fade away. This sounded both crucial and very appealing to me. In one of his best roles, Jack Nicholson said "You make me want to be a better man." I think this wonderful complement falls along the same lines as Scott's second crucial point. Part of "love" -if it exists- is finding someone who not only supports you but also inspires. I think that this is possible but not by desire alone and the same goes for true love. It's rather elusive. Two people can want to love each other but still not have the compatibility sturdy enough to withstand even the toughest obstacles. If love exists it's a special fondness for each other and the ability to have unusual conversations. That is, if it exists.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
What Would You Say
Of interest to the editor:
As of late I've described myself as a disbeliever in love. Scratch that; disbelief isn't the right word. I just have trouble comprehending that two people could possibly love each other equally and, excluding some unavoidable trials, happily spend the majority of their lives together. Still, there are a few friends close to me who are surviving in what could be considered "loving unions." One member of the most successful of which I talked to the other day. This friend, Scott, has been married since his early days of college. He didn't speak in generalities but instead described what worked for him and his wife. First, Scott said that college was really busy so it wasn't like they were spending a ridiculous amount of time together. Second, he said that he and his wife had pretty unusual conversations. Honestly, to a degree, both points were new to me, especially the second one. I definitely can understand the necessity for a reasonable level of independence but unusual conversations never struck me as a point worth listing early -no wonder I'm single! Sure you can have a good conversation where both halves of the couple agree on something but I think what Scott meant was that he and his wife (Laura) exposed new ideas and perspectives to each other. This is very important to a relationship, without it even the most tranquil ones will fade away. This sounded both crucial and very appealing to me. In one of his best roles, Jack Nicholson said "You make me want to be a better man." I think this wonderful complement falls along the same lines as Scott's second crucial point. Part of "love" -if it exists- is finding someone who not only supports you but also inspires. I think that this is possible but not by desire alone and the same goes for true love. It's rather elusive. Two people can want to love each other but still not have the compatibility sturdy enough to withstand even the toughest obstacles. If love exists it's a special fondness for each other and the ability to have unusual conversations. That is, if it exists.
As of late I've described myself as a disbeliever in love. Scratch that; disbelief isn't the right word. I just have trouble comprehending that two people could possibly love each other equally and, excluding some unavoidable trials, happily spend the majority of their lives together. Still, there are a few friends close to me who are surviving in what could be considered "loving unions." One member of the most successful of which I talked to the other day. This friend, Scott, has been married since his early days of college. He didn't speak in generalities but instead described what worked for him and his wife. First, Scott said that college was really busy so it wasn't like they were spending a ridiculous amount of time together. Second, he said that he and his wife had pretty unusual conversations. Honestly, to a degree, both points were new to me, especially the second one. I definitely can understand the necessity for a reasonable level of independence but unusual conversations never struck me as a point worth listing early -no wonder I'm single! Sure you can have a good conversation where both halves of the couple agree on something but I think what Scott meant was that he and his wife (Laura) exposed new ideas and perspectives to each other. This is very important to a relationship, without it even the most tranquil ones will fade away. This sounded both crucial and very appealing to me. In one of his best roles, Jack Nicholson said "You make me want to be a better man." I think this wonderful complement falls along the same lines as Scott's second crucial point. Part of "love" -if it exists- is finding someone who not only supports you but also inspires. I think that this is possible but not by desire alone and the same goes for true love. It's rather elusive. Two people can want to love each other but still not have the compatibility sturdy enough to withstand even the toughest obstacles. If love exists it's a special fondness for each other and the ability to have unusual conversations. That is, if it exists.
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